I’m sure you’ve heard it before: everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that feels right and makes perfect sense and sometimes we find ourselves bristling – saying ‘yeah right’ or ‘whatever’. It brings up the ‘yeah buts….” Yeah, but I was supposed to get that job. Yeah, but I worked really hard on that. Yeah, but I should have, would have, could have.
None of it serves. Why? Because it isn’t the way it turned out and we have to learn to accept that and see what good can come out of the inevitable – it’s often there and not far below the surface, if only we’re willing to look.
Usually we go to ‘yeah, but’ when we are confounded or confused by the circumstance we find ourselves in. Or, worse – really frustrated, stressed or upset. It’s easy to feel like the world is conspiring against us and that nothing is going right.
As we mature and develop our coping mechanisms, we learn how to behave and make our way in the world. We realize that any given situation is usually just that – a situation – temporary and fleeting. We also learn that while we can’t control certain circumstances and events, we can control how we respond to them.
Still, we don’t always respond from our highest self or act for our – or everyone else’s for that matter – highest good. But by being conscious, we can do that more of the time. Ultimately it makes us happier. Dwelling it what doesn’t work isn’t where we want to live. So, we have to consciously pick ourselves up out of that. Get help, enlist people who care, but take responsibility for changing your view – and sooner rather than later when you’re able.
We do know that there is a lesson in everything. A good practice is realizing that in the moment. It makes me think of the expression – we’ll laugh about this later. You know, you’re in some frustrating situation – you get a flat on the side of the road and it’s raining and you get wet and at some point you realize that you might as well just give in. You stop being frustrated and you know that later you’ll laugh about how you got out and got muddy and your favorite shoes got soaked when suddenly someone pulls up and solves your problem. Why not laugh now?
You could, you know. Life is all about tests, and challenges. Can you stand apart from your ‘monkey mind’ in a stressful situation and ask “what could I learn from this?” Why is this happening? Is there any good in this situation? What is it? What would be a great outcome if I was able to see further down the road and not stay stuck in this ‘now moment’?
I try and do that and laugh now, instead of laughing later. To accept that the universe is conspiring for my good. It doesn’t always show up looking like what I envisioned. That’s where we must bring an open mind and be willing to dig deeper, beneath the surface to that place that accepts and is open and in the flow. It’s where our soul resides.