In almost every phase of our lives, at home, at school, and at work, we find ourselves under the evaluation of others, the rewards and criticism of external judgment. This is judgement for ourselves and of others.
Such judgments are part of our lives, seeing both the contrast, from birth to when we grow older. I believe a certain amounts of social intelligence is necessary.
“What a failure you are!”
Like most, I find myself all too often making such judgments and evaluation of others. However, in my experience, they do not make for my own personal growth. Hence, I do not believe these attitudes and judgments are helping me to create healthy relationships.
Curiously enough, a positive view in the long run can be as threatening is as a negative view of others
“You look amazing!”
“Congratulations, job well done!”
“Wow, what an amazing outcome, you surely are lucky!”
Judgments good or bad affect us
Since to know someone well, sometime our judgments of being kind can easily imply you also have the right to tell them they are bad.
We cannot see in another which is not within ourselves. For example, if you saw someone who was arrogant, how would you know this unless you have experienced it yourself. Similarly, the opposite, the good side, when we see the beauty in others. We are always seeing a projection of who we are onto others.
So, I have come to the conclusion and feel that the more I keep a relationship free of judgement and evaluation, the more I permit myself to reach a point where others will recognize the focus of evaluation, the center of responsibility, lies within ourselves. It always come from ourselves, where else we would know the difference.
The meaning and value of our experiences is, lastly, something which is up to each and everyone of us to see the truth within ourselves. No amount of external judgments can alter this.
Remember: we cannot see in other what does not lay within.
Taking another path
So, a I am working towards building relationships to which I am not, to ,y own feelings, of see to understand my evaluations of other person. This I believe can set myself and others free to be a self-responsible, self-aware, and self- person.
Free from evaluation
If in my working with others, I am dealing with them as an ignorant, arrogant, immature attitude, what can be in this relationship.
I accept others as a process of becoming who I really am, endeavoring to see and make real everyone’s potential.
Be grateful. accept and meet the other person who is also in the process of becoming. If not, will you be bound by your judgments.
Become an integrated person who in that moment knows so you both can have a deeply and dependable experience.