Isn’t it interesting how everything in life is about balance, or opposites? We can’t appreciate feeling really happy unless we know what it’s like to feel down, or sad. We can’t feel the gratitude for being out of pain, unless we’ve experienced suffering.
In recent years, the world has been rocked by financial and economic drama. Everything is shifting and there’s practically no one that hasn’t been touched one way or another by all the turmoil. Turn on the news; pick up a newspaper or a magazine and the news blasts out at us, keeping everything that is wrong, everything that is scary – right at the forefront of our thinking. It can be stressful to be caught up in it all, but there we are – it’s part of our current reality.
I am so privileged to work closely with people – in the personal and business lives at a very deep level. What I’ve noticed lately is how all this chaos is affecting how people look at the world. We all know life is not without challenges. In fact I something thing how well we fare in life has to do with how well we handle problems and so much of that is about perception.
If you ‘catastrophise’ and get deeply and easily upset, things can appear bigger and more profound than perhaps they actually are. If you tend to take a deep breath and just accept what you can’t change, feel it but not let ‘it’ live inside you, you suffer less. And, it is a choice. And, it’s one you have to make over and over again! But eventually, you can train yourself to think differently.
It starts with being kind and compassionate to yourself – even when you feel awful and everything around you seems to be spinning apart. Our culture values success and we can get pretty whipped up about our perception of how well we measure up – or don’t. It causes additional stress and adds to all ‘the noise’ we’re taking in, it can be overwhelming. I’ve got a method for overcoming some of these negative feelings that way you down.
Begin by making a list of all the rules you’ve made about success. What is ‘perfect’ to you? How do you measure your achievement or know when you’ve achieved the success standard you’ve created for yourself? Next, take one of those beliefs or rules and decide to reject it, fully and completely. Which one holds you back most? Gets you the most upset or feeling the most challenged?
Now, you’re going to write a letter of resignation to that belief. Let’s say for example you believe you will be rejected if you’re not perfect, whatever perfect means to you. Address your letter of resignation to that belief and follow this model:
Dear “I will be rejected if I am not perfect”,
You have held me back and nothing you have to say or offer helps me in any way. What you say and think you know about me is a lot of bull and I am done holding myself back because of you. I have experienced unbearable pressure and terrible feelings of guilt that stops me from putting myself out there for fear that of no one will like me. I’m tired of feeling like this – I’ve had enough. I’m exhausted by your constant babbling. Honestly, whilst you may think you are keeping me safe, you have, in truth, kept me from stepping forward. You have no power over me and I am ready to let go. You have served your purpose of keeping me safe and I thank you for that. I am ready to release you from my life and step up to being and doing what is right for me. Goodbye and good riddance.
Finally, take your letter and burn it or tear it into little pieces throw it away or bury it somewhere that feels right to you. The power of writing it down and releasing it has remarkable restorative powers. It starts the process of questioning what you think and what you believe. The more you question your beliefs the easier it will be to understand that you have the choice to change them. Your power is that you are ultimately and always at choice. Here’s to you.
Let me know how this worked for you.